4 words: hood of his car
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Who died my cat blue again?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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