Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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