i already hear my dad disowning me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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