Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
