is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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