Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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