Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
