I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
