I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
