Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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