He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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