I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize