You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
