You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
