So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize