a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
