the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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