Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
