Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize