It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
