WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
