I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize