I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I smell stomach acid.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
