ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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