What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
