I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
