OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
