Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
