Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
MIDGETS
????
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
