I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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