Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
