k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Is it because I queefed?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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