Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
