battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
