What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Hippo gnu deer
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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