yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
