hotel room ftw
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Hippo gnu deer
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize