you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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