doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i dont even know how to be here
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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