the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize