Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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