____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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