This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Banned from zoo.
Again?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
