You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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