went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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