he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize