Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
