I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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