All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize