At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
