ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
