my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
