Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
