Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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