OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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