I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
