I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
