I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
